Matters of the Heart

Fair is Fair

2009-11-04T15:30:00.000-08:00

Does this picture just scream Momma I Love You? Good grief, my heart just melts, when my baby gives me those big brown eyes.

We had a lot of fun trying to get balloon pictures, for our I Heart Faces entry. If you missed the one I entered of Goose, you can click here to see it.

Been trying to catch up with some of you, I sure miss having that regular communication. A couple of things happened in the last few days, that have led me to believe I needed to clear some time for blogging.

So, with any luck, I may become a regular in your reader, and or inbox again. No promises, but I need some bloggy love.

I Heart Faces - Balloon Week

2009-11-03T17:47:00.000-08:00

Nothing like getting a photo in under the wire.

It's balloon week, over at I Heart Faces. There are some wonderful entries, as always, you should really go check them all out.

You know it is really hard to sit out a week with I Heart Faces. I had nothing in my archives, that I loved. So the kids and I went and got some balloons, at the store today, and set up a photo shoot outside, late this afternoon.

It did not go at as I envisioned it too, but I was happy with a couple of them.

Little Goosie, holding an I love you balloon, is a perfect moment, in this Mommies book.

Thanks for stopping by...

Did you see that?

2009-11-02T15:05:00.000-08:00

Did you see that? It was me.... It was me taking a great big breath of air. Yes, I feel a breather coming on. I know I have said it before, but it really looks like I might get a chance to sit down and catch up again.

I think I might be back on the regular blog wagon again soon. I have missed you all, and really want to catch up soon. You know how good you feel, after you reconnect with someone, you have not talked too in a long time? Well, that's the feeling I want.

I've given up on sending thank you cards out, I'm in the middle of an audit, and Jane Anne, I promise you will see something from me one day.... Good grief, I have to take all my mail to the post office, because my mailman is a slug.

I promise to get some Halloween photo's up real soon. Anyone want to take a guess at what Goose dressed as? Oh, and I am hoping to pull a balloon photo together, for this weeks theme, over at I Heart Faces No promises on that one.

In other news, my sister is doing well. All of her numbers have recovered, from this round of chemo. We will look forward to hearing the news from the transplant team on the 13th of this month. Thank you all for continuing to keep her in prayer.

See you real soon...

I Heart Faces - Halloween

2009-10-27T08:55:00.000-07:00

It is Halloween Week, over at I Heart Faces. Go check out all the wonderful entries.

Here is my favorite little guy. I just melt, when he gives me these big brown eyes.

This is the cutest darn pirate I have ever seen. I think I would say that even if I wasn't his mommy. Speaking of pirates, this little guy wants mommy to dress as a pirate too. So that is my mission today, find the stuff to dress like a pirate too.

A quick update, my sister is done with round two of chemo. We will know more after November 13th, when she meets with the transplant doctor again. They are going to do transplant, we just do not know if it will be before or after Christmas. Thank you again for all your prayers, and well wishes, our family is eternally grateful.

Check it out...

2009-10-23T10:34:00.001-07:00

I promise I will be back with some updates.

In the meantime, go HERE, and see if you recognize anyone. Don't forget to leave my friend some comment love, she is amazing, and has been teaching me so much.

By for now.

I Heart Faces - Pink Week

2009-10-19T20:23:00.000-07:00

If only she could see me now.

It's "Pink Week" over at I Heart Faces, in honor of breast cancer awareness month. It all about the pink, this week.

Cancer, in general, is weighing very heavily on my heart lately. With my sister battling with leukemia, and now, recent news of a beloved school teacher of mine, struggling with this disease, it's hard not to get angry at it.

Especially since we have been down the road with cancer before. My Grandmother, who I can honestly say, was one of the greatest women I have ever known, battled with breast cancer. She was a fighter, struck with this horrible disease in her early thirties, back then, women had a tough time surviving. It certainly was not like now, with all the advances they have made. But not my Grandmother, she came through, and oh am I so glad, for if not, I would not know all the wonderful things I know today.

My Grandmother went on to have a wonderful life, after the breast cancer, we were always very close. She called me the love of her life, I never really knew what that meant until after I had my own children. She taught me so much about life and living.

In my Grandmother's seventies cancer struck again, almost forty years later. This time it was ovarian. It was not good, the doctor gave us horrible news after her surgery. All my Grandmother could say was, " I want to live long enough to see you get married, and have a baby." Sadly she died the next day.

So when I Heart Faces announced "Pink Week" I knew it was the perfect time to share about the women I miss most in my life. Now, she did not get to see me get married and have a baby, but certainly was there in spirit. My Grandmother was such a gift to me, and I miss her horribly.

In honor of "pink week" and in memory of my Grandmother, I give you the gal that lives and breathes pink.

If only she could see me now....

As much as it breaks my heart, that my Grandmother did not make it to see my children, I just hold comfort in knowing that I can keep her memory alive, within them. This little gal would have had my Grandmother wrapped around her little finger.

Thanks to I Heart Faces for letting us remember a very important thing.

A little bit of an update.

2009-10-15T09:51:00.000-07:00

Thank you to those of you that have left messages of concern. It really does warm my heart to know that I have people near and far that our concerned about our family.

It certainly has been a bit of a crazy week around here. As far as my sister Brook, the transplant board decided that she should have another round of chemo and then transplant in about eight weeks. Brook was very happy that she will be home for her favorite holiday, Thanksgiving. This makes us happy too, now I am not sure if they will do transplant before or after Christmas. Brook is currently in the hospital receiving her second round of chemo. So far she is just really tired. She should come home hopefully early next week, but she will have to go in three times a week for blood counts and possible transfusions. This is such a tough process on anyone. We continue to pray for a complete healing, if that would be God's will.

Here is a picture of Brook enjoying a bit of sunshine the day before she entered the hospital for round two. Thank you all for continuing to pray for her.

In other news, I had to call 911 for the first time ever Tuesday night. Both my kids, as some of you know, have breathing issues with fragile airways. When they are sick it gets worse. Well Goose had a scratchy throat the other day, she said she felt fine, and I wondered if maybe she was coming down with something. Sure enough, about 11:00pm she woke us with that horrible barking cough. Well, this time it was a bit worse, she was visibly struggling to breath. Even though we had been down this road before, it felt a bit different. The Mister was holding her, and took her out side for the cool air, the next thing I hear is call 911. Now, in the past I have either tried to wait it and see our doctor in the morning or transported her myself to the ER. Having to have emergency assistance put a whole new dimension to this situation.

When the kids are like this, the only thing that truly helps the airway is steroids. That is exactly what we received at the ER and we were back home for self care. She hardly moved at all yesterday, today she is up and about a little bit, and slept much better last night. Steroids tend to make them a bit grumpy or agitated, I can tell that is happening already. I am just thankful she is okay and on the mend.

That's all from us right now. Hope you are all doing well, and hope to be back soon again.

I Heart Faces - Fix-it Friday

2009-10-09T16:18:00.000-07:00

Well, it is my first time participating in I Heart Faces - Fix it Friday. There are always so many wonderful edits, I just have never jumped in with them.

Having really been trying to work on my editing skills, I thought I would give it a try this week. Practice, practice, practice is what I have been doing lately.

This was just another perfect opportunity for practice. Below is the original photo. Is he not cute just the way it is? You can just tell he is full of personality.

Now, here is my edit version. I really hated to crop out most of his lovely hair, but I just loved his eyes and I wanted them to be more of the focus.

I currently am using Photoshop Elements 6, one day I would love to move up, but for now, it fits the bill.

Next time I play along I will record what I did to get to my end result. For now, you will just have to look at, the before and after.

Go check out all the wonderful edits, it really is a fun way to learn.

Thanks for stopping by.

What do you think?

2009-10-08T13:58:00.000-07:00

It's done, what do you all think? I love the new look. I am trying to simplify all areas in my life right now, and this new look really helps me do that on my blog.

Jill over at Sneaky Momma is the best. If you are looking for something new on your blog, please consider checking her out.

I have other updates but I will have to wait to share. Also watch for a complete separate photography site coming soon.

Finally giving in....

2009-10-06T08:17:00.001-07:00

Well, we have so many changes going on in our lives, and the lives of those around us, I thought I would continue the trend, right here on my blog.

A while back, I had eluded to some changes coming, then my sister was diagnosed with Leukemia, and everything just kind of changed courses. I was going to do a giveaway, and that got put on hold, and a giveaway I mailed, never made it, along with some bills and birthday invitations, our darn mailman stinks. So I really have a lot of catching up to do.

As I said the other day, there is a peace about things right now, and I am just doing what I can to get it all done, and not give in to chaos or worry.

So this time, when I say be on the look out for some changes, I really mean it. I really have the need to simplify many things in my life, and I am taking the steps to do it.

I have a special bloggy friend, that I have come to really love. I have watched her creativity unfold with my very eyes. I am so happy for all that she is accomplishing, she really works hard, and deserves every bit of her success. That friend is Jill over at Sneaky Momma. Jill will be taking the ropes and helping to simplify my blog life. I am so excited about this, we have talked about it for a long time and the timing is finally right.

So be on the lookout for some changes.

My favorite gal - have you missed her?

2009-10-04T20:35:00.000-07:00

Been working real hard, in my spare time, on my photoshop skills. I think it is finally sinking in.

Thought I would share a picture of Goosie Girl with you all.

This little girl is so special, and she certainly is every bit as sweet as she appears.

I have stopped praying for a lighter load, looks like the load is here to stay for awhile. What I did was switch my prayer to asking for strength to carry the load. The last couple of days, I have felt more peace than I have in a very long time. Hummm, amazing isn't it?

Anyway, as I continue to find more strength, I am in hopes you will see me a bit more often, here, and catching up with all of you. I actually have been lurking around, trying to see what has been going on.

Thanks for sticking it out with me and all of your prayers.

In my spare time...

2009-10-04T00:09:00.001-07:00

In my spare time I got to photograph this sweet little girl and her sister. More pictures to come.

I have been on information overload lately and have had a hard time putting anything into words. We spent 4 hours with transplant doctors on Thursday, we will know by next Thursday the direction they are going to go.

For now, Brook is doing well, and we are so grateful to those that are helping out. There are so many things in the air, for her, as well as for us. Please continue to keep us in prayer.

I pray that you are all doing well and I will check in again soon.

I Heart Faces - Blue

2009-09-28T21:23:00.003-07:00

It's blue week, over at I Heart Faces.

I guess you can say I am a little blue. I have little, or no time, for the computer and blogging lately.

Still making sure my sister is taken care of, and things are in full swing with the kids at pre-school and I have a few other things mixed in with all of that.

I am in hopes, that things will slow down for me soon, and I can get back into a nice schedule. I don't think I have ever been stretched this thin. Still grateful though, just stretched and tired.

Regardless of all of that, it is hard for me to pass a week up, with I Heart Faces. I searched the archives, to find something to fit the theme this week.

Not my best shot, but loved the look on my little Goosie girls face here. Fresh out of the blue water, with her blue suit, and blue-green eyes. Yep, I would say it fits the theme.

Go check out all the other wonderful entries. I am sure it will be well worth it.

Thanks for all the prayers, I should have another update soon.

I Heart Faces - Candid

2009-09-21T20:36:00.000-07:00

Well as busy as we are, it is still hard for me to pass up a week, over at I Heart Faces.

This week is completely candid week. Nothing like, catching a shot of you youngest, having the time of his life at the fair.

He loved the bouncing truck ride. Can you tell? What a fun week it is over at I Heart Faces, be sure to check it out.

Look what we did today.

2009-09-20T22:47:00.001-07:00

Because you have all been praying, and because I have permission. I thought I would share with you what we did today.

Watching someone you love go through a difficult time is tough. Being able to make them happy and smile makes it all a little easier.

Brook wanted her hair shaved off today. It was falling out and time to go.
She was so cute about it, she just wanted it done. She even trusted a guy like this to do it.

I'm kidding that's my hubby with the mask on. You think he has a little experience with that razor?

She was so relieved when it was finally off. I think she looks beautiful. In fact God gave her a perfectly shaped head, he knew she was going to need it one day.

My dear sister looks so much like our father. I just know he is walking right beside her somehow.

You never know where life is really going to lead you. Look at Brook, she is twenty eight years old. One month ago, she never imagined her life would be what it is today. But I can tell you, she has been walking through this, with more grace and strength than I think I could ever have.

Thank you for your continued prayer.

Hello it's me again...

2009-09-19T09:45:00.001-07:00

I just knew I wasn't going to be able to get on much this last week. To say things are crazy busy, is an understatement.

We have lots of things that continue to keep us in prayer around here. I appreciate all of you that have been praying for our family.

My sisters numbers are rising again, after falling from chemotherapy (this is good). We are anticipating a second marrow biopsy next week, to see if the cells went into remission. For now, she remains hospitalized, hoping for a release to come home next week. She will then go see the transplant doctor and see where she proceeds.

There are many more things that have kept us busy this week. I have always tried to minimize the length of my posts for reader convenience. I may have to break my own rules since I cant get on as much. I apologize in advance, if I start to get wordy.

I am making a few personal changes around here, hoping to grow spiritually through it. I have also turned the camera to completely manual and joined a photography for moms group. This too, I believe will help me grow in that area.

Here is a sneak peak at one of the things that kept us busy this week. More photos to come.

I hope this finds you all doing well. Thanks to those of that have hung in there with me.

I Heart Faces - Contemplation

2009-09-13T16:12:00.000-07:00

So after a week off, I am so happy to have an entry again. It is contemplation week, over at I Heart Faces. Definition brought to you by the wonderful ladies at I Heart Faces.

Our Definition: thoughtful observation; full or deep consideration; dreamily or wistfully thoughtful: a pensive mood; expressing or revealing thoughtfulness; quiet modes of apparent or real thought; can be marked by some sadness, but doesn't have to be.

I know I am a little early, but the way our weeks have been, I may not get to it, if I don't post it now.

I have to say I just love my kiddos. If you have been around here, any amount of time, you know that for some reason, Goose always has that "deep in thought" look about her. I knew it would be fairly easy, to fit her right into this weeks theme.

To my surprise, the last time I had the camera out, I was actually able to get both kids in a shot together. What do you think these two are thinking about?

When I was editing this, I just felt the love, that these two share. This is my new favorite picture, of the two of them. Goose, as usual, has that far off, thought filled look about her. And Rooney, you can tell, is just deep in thought about something.

This was taken right in the middle of all that is going on. I just needed a distraction, and grabbed the camera, and took the kids out at sunset. Maybe they were thankful for the downtime too.

This makes me smile. I feel so blessed to have these two little ones. My little gifts from God, who could ask for anything more?

Let's here it for some good news.....

2009-09-11T22:04:00.000-07:00

Ok, so I am tring this on my phone again. I noticed last time it did not come out so well. I apologize in advance, I am just to tired to fire up the computer.

Anyway, it has been another busy week around here. I sure wish I had time to fill you in on it all. I even missed entering a photo for I Heart Faces. I guess it would have been a stretch anyway, the kids do not go back to school until next week. We are ready for next weeks theme though, more photos are still in my blogging future.

So the good news is. One of my sisters is a bone marrow match for my sister that has leukemia. This is the best news we have heard by far. Thank you for the continued prayer. Brook really feels like she is going to beat this disease.

Have a great weekend.

Wordless Wednesday - Or Not

2009-09-09T21:40:00.001-07:00

Someone just turned three last week. My sister insisted the festivities should go on. In fact, she said she would be mad at me, if we did not celebrate Rooney's birthday. We usually have big birthdays around here, this year we kept it small.

Rooney wanted a baseball birthday, and to the best of my ability, that is what he got. Birthday cake and all.

Having a child with severe food allergies, limits us to homemade. This was my best shot at a baseball cake. Despite the way it looked, I thought it was yummy.

I have tried to check in with some of you in the last few days. Missing all my bloggy buddies. Thank you for the continued prayer, our family sure does appreciate it.

Little Goose is a bit under the weather tonight, and Mr Rooney has his three year check up tomorrow. Both kids will head to pre-school Monday morning.

We still have lots going on, and I hope that I will be able to catch up soon.

A new day.

2009-09-07T08:31:00.000-07:00

I was sending an email this morning and thought I should share this thought with all of you too.

First, I have to tell you I am typing this from my phone, sorry if I hit the wrong keys. Second my hubby is taking me away for a much needed
distraction today.

On with my thought. Yesterday I was in visiting with my sister. She looked great by the way.
Round one of chemo is done, now we wait to see how her white blood cells rebuild.

Anyway, as I sat with her yesterday an overwhelming feeling of peace came over me.
I just felt the room fill with joy. That may sound strange to you, but it was almost like at that very
moment I felt as if I truly trusted God. Don't get me wrong, I have faith, but this just felt
like that confirmation that he was the one with the control and not me. Something felt really positive
about it.

Whatever the outcome may be, I know that I have no control on this situation.
I guess I had a moment of real surrender. It felt good. Really like everything was going to be as it should.

Ever had something similar happen?

Look who has a birthday.

2009-09-04T08:31:00.000-07:00

Three years ago today was labor day. Not only was it the Federal Holiday, I was also having a baby.

This little guy has forever changed our world.

I am forever grateful for this little gift from God.

In other news, today is my sisters last day of her induction chemo. So far she has been taking it well. She has needed a few blood transfusions and platelets added. A bit of getting sick, and a whole lot of bored moments.

Her strength, and positive attitude, remain amazing. She and I both believe she has a wonderful doctor, and remains in the hands of the great healer.

Her subtype came back in the intermediate risk area. This means she has a 50 percent chance of being completely cured. Today is considered day seven, and on day 20 she will have another bone marrow biopsy, to see if this round of treatment has put her into remission. After that it is off to the transplant doctor to see what her follow up treatment will look like. Possibly a transplant and 3-4 more rounds of chemo to keep this disease away.

Thank you for all the prayers on our families behalf. I miss you all and long for the day to have more computer time again.

Blessings...

I Heart Faces - Before and After

2009-08-30T22:16:00.000-07:00

I needed a bit of a distraction with everything that is going on right now. This week at I Heart Faces is before and after week. What a great time to look back on how far we have all come, since the wonderful I Heart Faces ladies started their site.

I don't know about you, but I had no idea a year ago, how interested I would become in photography.

A year ago, I only owned a point and shoot. All I did was point and shoot, and maybe a little crop here and there. I dreamed of being able to take beautiful pictures of my children and payed to have them done instead.

These two photos below, are evidence I had a great subject to shoot at, but did not really know what I was doing. One of these, was actually my very first I heart faces entry... Any guesses which one?

I wanted to point out how small the photos were back then. I left them that way on purpose. I have learned so much from I Heart Faces, including how to post larger pictures on my blog. You know one's you can actually see.

These next couple of photos I just took and edited in August. I have learned so much in the last year. Like I said above, I had no idea I had a love of photography. What started out as wanting to take nicer photos of my children, has turned into a real passion to learn all I can.

A year later, and now the same little girl sits in front of a natural background, and looks into a lens of a DLSR, instead of a point and shoot. What a difference a year makes.

Learning to turn the flash off, shoot in the right light, the rule of thirds, those are just a few of the things that have helped me improve on my photography. A little trial and error on exposure, and many nights up looking at all the entries each week, have helped me learn so much

A willing little model doesn't hurt either. Thank you I Heart Faces, I will forever be grateful for all you, and everyone involved, have taught me.

Goodness at it's best.

2009-08-30T12:18:00.000-07:00

I have so many things I could fill you in on. Since our famlies big blow last Tuesday, I find myself with less time than ever. What spare time I do have right now, is spent with my little sister.

Speaking of my little sister, who is in the biggest battle, she might ever face. I am telling you, she has the bravest heart of anyone I have ever seen. Her courage has been amazing this week. I can see how tired she is getting, and yet she is fighting. Fighting to stay positive, fighting to keep a smile on her face, fighting to kick this disease, right where it belongs. I am not sure I would, or could, be as strong as she has been. It is truly amazing to watch. She is on day three of chemo, with four left to go, of this first round. Please pray for complete healing, and her continued strength the next few weeks ahead.

In other news, someone I know will be three, very shortly, this mama has nothing done to prepare for the celebration. I had wanted to cancel doing anything, but my sister insisted we celebrate, she said she would be very mad if I didn't do anything.

Now for some good news:

I had won a lovely giveaway, from Beth E, recently. It came in the mail this week, God's perfect timing. I opened the package, and it smelled heavanly. The candle was Hot Apple Butter, and the box was loaded with all kinds of fall goodies. One of the most lovely things was a set of nesting boxes. They were inscribed with the words Faith, Hope and Love on each of them, that is exactly what our family needs right now. Thank you Beth, I felt like it was a little gift from God, right through you.

Not sure how often I am going to be able to get around, but I have tried to peak in, and see what is going on. I just can't take the extra time to leave messages right now. Just know that I appreciate all of your prayers, as I know Brook does also, and know I am thinking about all of you too.

Aches and Pains

2009-08-28T08:56:00.000-07:00

Dear Lord, please do not let me complain ever again about one single ache or pain I may have. Seriously, after watching how brave my 28 year old sister has been the last few days, I have no room to complain ever.

It was confirmed last night that my sister Brook was diagnosed with Acute Myelogenous Leukemia. The subtype testing is not back yet. The doctors have enough information to begin her induction round of chemotherapy today. I ask that you continue to lift her in prayer, as she walks through this.

My heart aches for her, but she is being so brave. I feel so torn, I would love to spend every minute there with her, but I have two small children who need me also. I am praying for balance and the strength and courage I need to comfort my sister.

Thank you to all that have left uplifting comments and have sent me direct emails of concern and prayer. The next 25 days or so will be the most critical. Once the other test is back, they will know how to proceed with transplant and consolidation chemo.

The last few days have been very up in the air. It is finally good to know for sure so we can support her in efforts to kick this disease out...

I will keep you updated.

Just Checking In

2009-08-27T09:28:00.000-07:00

I feel so out of touch. I have not had more than a few minutes to get on the computer, for the last few days. Man do I miss reading my regular blogs. Not sure when I am going to get back to my regular routine.

Thank you for all the thoughts and prayers for our family, they are of great comfort. I have my phone with me, and am able to see all the nice comments.

Please continue to lift my sister in prayer. It is so comforting to know that she is being prayed for by so many. Not just people we know in real life, but all of you, that I have come to enjoy so much.

They have given her a presumed diagnosis, based on what is in front of them, there is a very slight chance they are wrong, and we should know by Friday. What ever the outcome, she has assured me she is ready to fight with whatever she has.

Thanks again, and hopefully I will check in again tomorrow. I miss stopping by and checking in on all of you so much. I don't know how in the world I will ever be able to go back and catch up.